


Nigel Bottom Victims

by Anonymous



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Something Rotten! - Kirkpatrick/Kirkpatrick/O'Farrell, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Forced Kissing, Gen, I'm Sorry, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 3: Stardust Crusaders Spoilers, M/M, Mild Suicide, Sexual Assault, THIS IS AN INSIDE JOKE, i am so sorry to any poor soul who reads this, self-inserts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29221125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Once upon a time, Nigel Bottom was a decent man until he ruined many people's lives. This is a list of people ruined by the monster known as Nigel Bottom.
Relationships: Kakyoin Noriaki/Kujo Jotaro, Nigel Bottom/Jotaro Kujo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous, Welcome to the mind f**k





	1. Case Number One: Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings for this chapter includes:  
> Mentions of grooming (albeit not actual grooming)
> 
> Written by Leaves himself.

****

**Victim Number One: Leaves**

* * *

Leaves, a young boy just recently having entered his teenage years and befriended Nigel Bottom. Nigel was good to him, the poet listened and laughed and humored all of Leaves' jokes and questions. They enjoyed each other's company, there was no arguing with that. On one fateful day, everything was bound to change.

Nigel and Leaves made eye contact for 2.3 seconds, that of which initiated a consensual, platonic hug that lasted around ten seconds. Leaves' grin was wide for a moment, only to be promptly and swiftly knocked off his face by realization slamming down on his back.

" _Oh my god_ ," he started, raising his trembling hands to his chest and staring at them with wide, horrified eyes. " _I... I've been Fucking **Groomed By Nigel Bottom Something Rotten**_."

The statement immediately caused him to burst into tears, loudly wailing and sobbing for hours until he was all but a dried out, dehydrated husk. He laid there and disintegrated into dust five seconds later. Nigel default danced on his grave.

Nigel Bottom's crimes:  
 **Grooming**  
 **Involuntary manslaughter**


	2. Case Number Two: Noriaki Kakyoin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter includes:  
> Mentions of food, bugs, mild violence, forced kissing, and suicide

****

**Victim Number Two: Noriaki Kakyoin**

* * *

Kakyoin was out on a date with his boyfriend Jotaro. The two were bonding over food on a hot summer day. Kakyoin ate out of his bag of cherries while Jotaro ate his ice cream cone.

Out of the blue, Nigel charged towards them. He punched Kakyoin in the face and Kakyoin stumbled back, dropping his bag of cherries onto the ground. He watched as the stranger pulled out a beetle from his pocket and shoved it down Kakyoin's throat. 

Nigel turned to Jotaro and grabbed him by the arm before the teenager escaped. The man then proceeded to kiss Jotaro on the lips as Kakyoin watched. 

Kakyoin felt his heart become crushed at witnessing the scene. Jotaro possibly didn't love him anymore. Kakyoin summoned Hierophant Green and yelled out "emerald splash!". But he didn't do it on Nigel, he did it on himself.

Nigel Bottom's crimes:  
 **Involuntary manslaughter  
Sexual assault**


	3. Case Number Three: Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter includes:  
> Sexual assault

**Victim Number Three: Gabriel**

* * *

Gabriel was out having a fine day as he wore his favorite turtleneck. He loved his turtleneck very much as he preferred it over other forms of dress. So when he met Nigel Bottom in Heaven, having the man slap his ass and calling him a slur for wearing such a piece of clothing, made him incredibly insecure.

Nigel Bottom's crimes:  
**Hate crimes against turtleneck wearers/lovers  
Sexual assault**


End file.
